A new Era

Its 3 months later since I’ve written. Well here’s whats been going on. The holidays came and went, not much to say about it. Did have xmas decor up this yr. though and that was nice. I went to church to pray for our baby loss on Jan. 18th. Been going to church now for a month and I love it, aside from the money donation part since im broke and all. Nick got suspended from school cuz of his teacher and the schools crap way of handling situations. Its my school and Im over it myself. Had a nice Valentines day with nick. O and also we found out in January 14th that I’m…PREGNANT!!! ;oD yes this is true, I am! it was a rough roller coaster at first, took an at home test saying positive then went to the veterans hospital to take a blood test that said negative! which drove me crazy! so we took 8 more at home tests, diff. brands all saying positive. So with that in mind, our next worry was if it was ectopic again. In between the time of testing and finding out, we went to a bor with my sisters and i ended up getting into a fight with 3 asian chix..smdh! knowing i was preg. was so dissapointed in myself, but everything was ok afterwards. nothing but a split lip n bruised chin. Also while waiting to find out if its ectopic, nick wanted to tell his parents the good news to b happy for the fact that we actually was able to b pregnant again despite all the odds against us and of course his parents let out more of a “worried concern” then happy attitude which really let him down, which i expected. My moms reaction?? complete excitement! then worry. We then found out at 7 weeks, the longest weeks of my life!!! that it was indeed NOT ectopic, we were freaking excited, relieved and scared all at the same time. his parents reaction? worry! my moms? tears of joy! event il this day his mom stills expresses a great deal of concern and worry during our time of celebration for having a so far very blessed healthy happy 11 week 5 day pregnancy. smh! ugh! so she tells me i need to text her once a week that everything is fine with the baby…for what so she can post more comments on facebook on how i should get out and get excersize for the babys sake, or make sure im not drinking, her first comment after we told her bout the pregnancy. I dont even drink liquor, im a beer girl if that and have been waiting for this for yrs. and she sayd that?? so lets jus say she’s not on the top of my fav. people right now during my pregnancy. She’s right under my recently completely cut off older sister for her selfish preg. bull shit she pulled with me but thats jus to much to get into right now, saving for the next post. Well i also learned that pregnancy makes me a crazy lady, like my attitude and temper wasnt high enough without the spiked hormones to boot. lol but im trying hard to control it. I have learned through this pregnancy who are the fake people and whom are the genuine. To be honest my hardest times right now is while im pregnant. We’re broke, behind on rent, got no school money comming in at all from either of us cuz i took time off to diminish the amount of stress i have, another reason why I’ve isolated myself from my family, their a stress ball all on their own, ALLLL of them! called joey to say hi after months of not talking and his first words out his mouth was what i did to upset him months ago, after expressing how stressed out i been to my other sister, she wants to get upset at me for not wanting to make an hour drive out to see her in rain and traffic, smh @ dat dumb shyt, then my other brtother comes over for the weekend mootching off of me, getting him cigarettes, FREE food and liquor and he has the nerve to complain bout it!smh @ dat dumb shyt. My other sister i jus dont even bother to call cuz she jus gonna ask for money that she beleives i owe her for a couch she dont even have no more but like a bill collector imma pay her so she could jus leave me alone. Its like once u get pregnant, everyone around you gets really stupid. Both my sistersare also pregnant while i am. So my preg, is really not that important to them, which one of them made clear to me, which is y i cut her as off. But other than that i been enjoying this preg. best i can for the main fact that i been dieing for this to happen, and to receive such a blessing just make everything else irrelevant. ;o) i do miss having someone to talk to though. like amanda, my best friend but she gotta new job so she’s crazy busy. well we see the doctor on monday for our 3 mon. check up, officially done with the very risky first trimester. Thank God. Mow im anxiouse to see me little sunflower seed in the ultrasound on monday! yipee!